Friday, December 31, 2010

Last post of the year

I just realized that my last post is also my 40th post on the this blog. I had really hoped I'd have done more with it. But when I'm struggling to find my way and all the dogma of my previous belief system screaming in my head....well yeah.

I think my Word for the year is going to be: FREEDOM.

I made a list of words and that was the first word I wrote, and when ever I think about my list, it's the first word that comes to mind. I think it's appropriate as I am seeking Freedom from an over possessive and controlling spouse that I no longer wish to be with. Seeking Freedom in my spiritual life, to find my path and my Goddess. Seeking Freedom to create more in art and writing.

The other words I think support this word, they all kind of go together.

I wish you all the most wonderful things in the New Year and may it be filled with Bright Blessings.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Yule Blessings

My wish for all of you this Yule season and through the coming year is summed up in that statement.

I had the opportunity to view the eclipse last night and I must say it was beautiful and spectacular. A few clouds rolled in and I thought it would spoil it but they passed over and didn't move back in until the Moon was in full eclipse. The energy from the Moon was very strong and empowering.

Warm wishes on this Winter Solstice and the Brightest of Yule Blessings upon you all.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Still here

I'm still around, I just haven't felt much like posting. Well I've wanted to, but I felt like it wasn't worth the effort, that it was meaningless, sometimes I felt like it made no sense. I just can't seem to focus, I'm feeling down, and wish I was anywhere but where I am right now.

I want to study, but I don't know what direction to take. I don't have the recommended books and can't get them from my library. And then, I feel so weighted down with all that holy roller christianity stuff that has been drummed into me, it's hard to break free of the mentality that one will burn in hell for not following the church's prescribed methods. I know that organized religion isn't for me. But the 'brainwashing' they impose doesn't shed easily.

I've been feeling down...missing my grandma and my dad. They both passed on the holidays, grandma Thanksgiving 2006 and my dad Christmas Eve 1994. I know they wouldn't want me to be sad, but it's hard not to be. Especially when you would rather be somewhere else, with someone else. My only hope is that this time next year, I will be in a better place.

Hopefully after the holidays pass, I can get back to some sort of normal posting and back to my bunny trails as I seek the Goddess.