Thursday, March 15, 2012

How About An Update? Yes?

I know it's been a long while again since I've posted here. I really don't quite know what I wish to do with this blog. Part of me wants to keep it and part of me wants to merge it with my main blog.

I feel like I am stuck at a crossroads with what path to follow. There's that part of me that is strongly drawn to the Avalon path. I was hoping to read "Avalon Within" by Jhenah Telyndru. A while back, I actually won a copy of the book. I was thrilled and excited. I couldn't wait to get it in my hands and read it. BUT then...I never received it! I contacted the sender who explained what happened and told it would be sent. And....still didn't get it. I've tried a few more times to contact the person, but I guess the emails got lost. So I don't know what ever happened to it. It makes me sad because I really want to read this and I can't afford to go buy a copy. So when I won it, I thought it was a clear sign that the Universe had spoken and said YES! This what you need to seek.
Then I'm still greatly drawn to Druidism. As well as being a Green/Hedge Witch. I'm more drawn to following the Goddess than a God, but I know one cannot exist without the other at least in my opinion. It could be too that my aversion to following a god is just due to my years in Christianity, where god rules and controls everything...the it's a man's world mentality and I should be the silent and submissive woman. And honestly I don't know how to just sit quiet and meditate on this. It would be really nice if I could find a way to blend it all.

So moving right along....It's now been 9 months since I moved 2200 miles to follow my heart. Slowly I've been rebuilding myself, healing, reconnecting with my Beloved (and things are going well with us), and learning what it's like to be accepted and a sense of belonging. I miss my girls terribly, and I wish they had chosen to come too. But it is what it is, for now. And maybe one day, my girls will decide to join me. The only thing left to do is file for a divorce which I am researching but I don't know how easy it's going to be and I still need to have money to do it. And also to figure if and how to get the things that I left behind.

Still things to think about and do, but everything in time. But I'm in a better place than I was a year ago spiritually, emotionally.