I feel as though I am at a crossroads. In fact I know I am. Not just in my life, but on my path.
In life it's a where do I go from here. What's next for me? Do I stay in Georgia or move out of state? Do I start an Etsy shop or not? If I do, what do I name it?
Then there's my path. What is it? How do I go down it? Which road do I take? I feel called to Druidry. But I also feel called to the Avalon path. Or yes I know I can combine the two, that's another option.
Where do I learn from? So many choices. And with limited funds sometimes, most times seems impossible that it will ever happen. Or books, there's a couple I want/need to read, study, learn from. But my library system either A) doesn't have it or B) it's out on loan or missing. Hmmm....no surprise on the missing here in the bible belt. So I looked into buying used. Great, right? I found really good prices on Alibris...8 books in very good to new condition for just under $22.00...FANTASTIC!...Woah...not so fast...the shipping cost more than the books combined. So my bargain shopping would cost me almost $50.00. So scratch that idea.
Next is which God/dess do I look up to? Who do I choose or more like who will choose me? I've had the dreams, still waiting for answers. On the one hand Rhiannon seems like a natural fit based off what I've researched. But Hekate has been cropping up everywhere on me. Blogs, Yahoo groups, etc. And I come to find out she is Goddess of the Crossroads. Could she be hinted at in one of my dreams? I don't know. Plus she's of a whole different pantheon than what I feel drawn to.
All these different roads, all these different choices....leaves me finding it very difficult to breathe or think. I'm so tired of making the wrong choices, or choosing what some one else thinks I should. I just don't want to fail.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Posted by Ellie at 9/01/2010 01:24:00 PM