Saturday, August 28, 2010

More Dreams

I do realize these could mean absolutely nothing at all. But just the mere fact I'm remembering particular snippets of the dreams, has me inclined to think they do hold some sort of meaning.

About 2-3 nights ago, I was in an old building. It was at least 2 story, but not necessarily with a second floor more like the roof was just vaulted that high. It was dim, almost like lit by candles or lanterns, and only enhanced more by the dark rain clouds outside. I could make out the think heavy timbers with dark stain that made up the walls and the ceiling. I know I was with my beloved and my eldest daughter.

We opened the door, and it was indeed raining, but moving off to our right. On opening the door I knew I was not stateside, and when I looked back at the building, I could see the heavy wood timbers and the white plaster of the building walls. Quite reminiscent of a home or shop in an old village. The clouds to the right were dark, the ones to the left were more gray. Out in front was a long dirt or stone road with a split rail fence and fields on either side of it, and a large group of trees off in the distance. Above us the clouds broke, and I could see some of the blue sky, and rays of sunshine though not the sun itself...And then a full rainbow appeared over us. I told my beloved "Kiss me quick under the rainbow." ....Then I woke up.

Last night I was where appeared to be a street in my childhood neighborhood. It was night, and there was a full moon. It was big and bright, and I found myself annoyed at the street light. I was marveling at the moon, when a smaller but reddish or orange-y red object appeared. At first I thought oh my it's Mars. But then 2 more of them appeared, like 3 moons of a red or orange-red, but they seemed fade or dim. Not bright. Together they formed a triangle...the first and smallest on the left, a larger one at the top and the third a tad smaller then the top one.

I was in awe. But if I looked at the Bright moon, the 3 went away...if I looked at the 3 the bright one went away. I thought I need my oldest to photograph, but I couldn't get to her for some reason. So I thought I would try to with my cell phone. But I couldn't focus, and they started to disappear, by the time I managed the photo there was only one remaining.

I'm not sure what either of these might meaning if anything. My initial thought of the Moon dream was something with the Goddess. But, I don't know.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

New Blog Name

As I stated a few days ago, I've been pondering a name change of this blog.

This is the new name for the time being. It's still a work in progress. It may yet change again, but this will do for now.

It is a blend of what I see as my path for the time being. I am a Solitary, both by choice and lack of ability to get to any gatherings that may be in line with my path of learning. I feel called by Avalon. I cannot explain it, but I feel a connection to the Holy Isle. And lastly I wish to study to be a Druid, a path I also feel drawn to.

The image in the header is a still from the movie "Mists of Avalon". A movie that I love.

As I start posting on this blog, I am hoping it will be from the point of my learning and observing, following where ever the Goddess takes me.

Dream and Possible Meaning- Semi Cross Post

I wrote about this on my main blog a few days ago. But it's the first dream and what it means that keeps haunting me, tugging at me right now. I'm not quite sure what it means, or if indeed I'm a on the right trail as to what it might mean. So I will only be posting the first dream here...for now.

The Dream:

About a week ago now, I had a dream. Of a courtyard made of white stone with a large round fountain. People were gathered some in the courtyard near the fountain, others on a set of steps leading up to a castle (perhaps). Two large white horses came running up, splashed through the fountain and stopped before a young man amidst the crowd. He held out his hand to calm the people telling them it's alright, the horses were messengers. The young man held a helmet in his hand and wore some sort of ancient garb, possibly Roman, but this wasn't Rome. I think he may have been a prince.

Possible Meaning:

I'll start with the horses. I initially thought of Epona. And while that seemed to click for me, I kept thinking there's more than one horse. And Rhiannon kept coming to mind. Horses symbolize strength, power, endurance; a white horse signifies purity, prosperity, good fortunes. Horses also symbolize hands on/spiritual healers. So then I looked up the 2 Goddesses.

Epona is a Celtic horse Goddess, other sites listed her as Gaulish. She can be seen as a Goddess of dreams, can be helpful in manifesting dreams and is a good protector to have when venturing on a new life path; also can be called upon if one is having trouble sleeping or wishing to have insightful dreams.

Rhiannon is a Welsh Goddess. She is known as a Muse for poets, artists, and royalty. She acts as a Muse bringing illuminating energy of Inspiration to writers, poets, musicians, and artists. She as been associated with Vivienne and the Lady of the Lake. One of her animal associations is the hummingbird! (I just saw one the other day after not seeing any for a couple years!) One of the associated gemstones with her is Amethyst (saw them in my second dream).

Castle can relate to past life influences.

I spent a good deal of time on different websites, none of which I had the good sense to bookmark or notate, gathering the above information.

As I said, I am still trying to rationalize the dream. My attention seems fixed on the horses, which looked very much like Shadowfax, Gandalf's horse in the movie. They seemed almost larger than a normal horse. And they were messengers, but bore no riders. Messengers of who, and what did they have to tell?

Of course I have a strong affinity to anything related to Avalon...Morgaine, Vivienne, The Lady of the Lake, Arthur, Merlin, etc. There are many times I feel called by Avalon to follow the path of Goddess. But at the same time I feel called to follow the Druid path.

I can see a bit too, where Rhiannon makes sense. She wants a person to ask specifically what they want, which is something I have great trouble doing. I've tried speaking to both Epona and Rhiannon, and I'm finding it difficult to speak to Epona, it's like a struggle. But when trying to speak to Rhiannon, it seems somewhat easier.

I don't know still with certainty what this dream means, I am still searching for answers.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

What to do with this blog?

I've been thinking a lot about this blog lately. And I don't know what to do with it. It was originally going to be the place I put my struggles to find myself, but then I changed the premise of my main blog. So I want to kind of repurpose this one. Not so much to focus on my inner struggles but perhaps to write about my spiritual journey such that it may be.

I'm considering changing the name as well. Since I've been feeling a pull to Avalon and the Druid path, I feel like my blog name should reflect that. So it will probably change in the coming days.

I will still post about the goings on in my life but it will perhaps and hopefully be from a different perspective.

I just didn't want you to think I'd abandoned this blog, I haven't I just didn't know what I wanted to do with it.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Awesome Give Away at Mother Moon.

Mother Moon is having an awesome "Eat Pray Love" give away. Head on over and check it out.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Crosspost - These Are A Start

This is a cross post from my other blog, The Forgotten Muse. I thought I'd share it here as well.

So I've been trying to think of ways to maybe earn some money. Michael's had a great sale a couple weeks ago on the Sugar & Cream brand yarn, so I invested in some (like maybe 20 skeins of it? lol) Then I found a fairly simple pattern to make some cute little bags that I could do while I got used to the rhythm of crocheting again. My last big project was some "Harry Potter" themed scarves back in like 2005!

I plan to make more. I've gotten used to the pattern, and found a new way to start it thanks to a wonderful Youtube video on "how to do a magic circle" (how fitting, don't you think?)

My first 3 or so were done as per the pattern, they are prototypes as I was learning the pattern. The lighter colored ones which ended up in line with the pattern's size description were done using the magic circle to start it technique.

My plan is to start selling them on Etsy at some point. I just don't know what or how to do that. I don't have a 'store' name, or know how to price such things, or even if they are good enough to sell. But here's a sneak peak at what they look like. I hope to include some shawls, and perhaps if I can master the pattern some larger bags.

Here's hoping to a start of something good.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

I'm Still in Awe

I'm still somewhat amazed that to have received that award and that you all think of my ramblings worthy to be called a blog of substance.

There are days I post things on my blog and think should I have really done that. At times I feel bothersome and a nuisance posting my seemingly petty rantings.

But some one left a comment on my other blog that made me feel as though I was punched in the stomach. It hurt and that in itself shocked me. But it was enough to make me consider deleting my blogs. I began to think the she was right in what she said and that all I do is complain, complain, complain. Complaining is not my intent by any means. I intended my words in my blogs to be a way of expressing myself, my thoughts, my feelings.

I don't have a "BFF Jill" that I can call or visit and pour my heart to whenever I'm feeling down or scared or anything else. I can't go to my so called family either. They are of the mind that 'you made your bed, now lie in it' so to speak. I can remember all to well what it was like growing up as they sat by and watched as I endured growing up in an alcoholic home. Without so much as a 'hey why don't you spend the weekend or the night here', just to give me a break or some sort of sense of 'normalcy'. And of course the one person that I could have gone to and poured my heart out to at any time, has passed away. I can no longer sit at her knee and cry my eyes out while she strokes my hair and tells me it will all be okay.

I thank you all for thinking of my blog as one of substance, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your words of encouragement. I love you all!

May the Goddess shine blessings upon you all! )O(

Lammas Blessings

Wishing you all a blessed Lammas!

I came across this lovely picture doing a goggle search. It is called Lughnasadh by Nadi Spencer.